Never Us

Our lips were sore, of laughing, of scolding,

Our eyes ran dry, of crying, of staring at each other,

Our ears grew weary from words, of those sweet & of hurtful,

Our stomach went numb, of tickling, of swallowing pride, or of digesting guilt.

So let’s give them some time to heal,

As they were all tired,

But not us,

Never us.

Love’s Will


Cats & dogs.

Under the roof top,

In front of the coffee table,

Within the last sip of tea,

Quiet eyes gazing at smiling lips,

“Thank you for your time,”

Whisper of old lady to her busy daughter,

“Even for just a cup of tea?”

“Even for just a cup of tea.”


Many years ago,

Trembling fingers under her cold palm,

“Mom, can we have some mushroom soup?”

“We’ll have a bowl then,”

“Why not two bowls?”

Starving purse in conflict with innocent hopes.

“We’ll have just one,”

A bowl of rice in exchange for soup,

Hunger in exchange for warmth & love.

“It’s only RM5 right?”

“It’s only RM5.”


Do you remember that kaleidoscope we built together?

The colors we once absorbed in,

Pieces that strung our memories,

And we really thought that would last forever,

But now it’s broken and distorted
in its own way,

And each piece tells a different story, still pretty,
in its own way.


We bumped into each other,

With our gazes met,

And then harsh complaints of ‘what the heck’,

In our hearts.

You were quiet so long,

With your face red, and your hands tremble,

And then I heard you confessing.

We were happy to death,

With me planting you a kiss, and you holding my hand,

Running down the street, feeling the breeze,

And then I said, “May us forever be like that”,

Then it was so long after,

I saw her by your side,

With your eyes partly on her, and partly on mine,

I just couldn’t stare straight into this sight,

And then I continued with my tasks, like it’d never crossed my mind.

And today,

When we thought we have nothing left,

And we’d go through all the treasures kept,

And then that’s when we hear the “I love you”s back,

And they’ll seem just like yesterday.


“Please forget me,” she sobbed,

As he stood there, not knowing what to say…


It was years later that the same words were repeated to the other girl,

As he heard her begging, “don’t forget me,”

He found his own reply,

“but how?”

and so she remained in his heart, forever.


Fault and Flawless bumped into each other,

Where Fault tripped, while Flawless fell,

“Isn’t there enough mistakes for me,” Fault exclaimed,

“One small act of yours should be enough to spoil my fortune!” goes Flawless,

“What can we do now?” Thought both,

As they stood up and decided to help with the other’s bandage,

But the stubborn wounds refused to heal,

Then came a thought out of nowhere,

“Let’s try donate & exchange our blood!”

And as slowly they recovered,

With a startle they chimed,

“How do we not know, that we’re Family sharing the same initials afterall!”

Sunshine Blogger Award

First and foremost, many thanks and love to Pallavi Gupta for nominating me this award. Never thought I deserve this, especially from one of my goddesses 😉 If you haven’t check out her post, do so and I bet you wouldn’t regret it for the fresh and raw contents her words created💙 Never mind nominating her here again!!!!

The Sunshine Blogger Award Rules :

  • Thank the blogger (s) who nominated you and provide a link back to their blog.
  • List the rules and display an award logo on your blog.
  • Answer the 11 questions the blogger (s) asked you.
  • Nominate 11 other bloggers to receive the award and notify them by commenting on any of their posts.
  • Ask the nominees 11 new questions.

Name one weird thing you find attractive in a person.

Shyness. Blushed cheeks and unordered words upon confronting me are too cute for me to resist a guy. I think it shows his genuineness that not everyone have.

Can you cook? What do you like to make?

Is instant noodles or warm water considered something to cook?😝 Other than that, I love making salads, with honey or lemon dressings, because they look extremely nice.

Have you even been in love?

Yes, I first discovered it after several times of puppy love (that numbness feeling of being together and separate with someone) until I met him❤. He’s that nerd kind of guy I wouldn’t thought I’d fall in love with (I thought I like bad guys, or if not, the very least, popular ones, but he’s neither one). Fallen in love for approximately half a year before I confirmed about my feelings towards him is truly love and not mere touching (past experiences taught me to be careful), and proposed (yes, I asked him to be my boyfriend and tadaaa!) Side notes, we were never in an official relationship because of some family issues, but we spent time together, though not very long, but I’d say it’s the best decision I’ve ever made in my life.

What’s one thing that’s happened to you that has made you a stronger person?

To learn to accept my own grief and never listen to those who labelled me as overly sensitive. To me, emotions are something we should face bravely, regardless of the good and bad ones, because they help us to feel things as the way they should, and make us more human to strive for the better. To cry is not a weakness, rather, it’s the bravery to encounter your own imperfections and know that there’s always ways to rise up from your fall.

When was the last time you tried something new?

A month ago. It was actually my college assignment to walk around the campus and do our presentation to strangers. I’m a borned introvert who dread talking to people, but it somehow helped me realized that it was not that bad after all after exchanging several friendly discussions with my audiences.

What social stigma society needs to get over?

Double standard. Many proposed to support the feminism acts, but still, when it comes to our daily lifestyle from special treatment to specific services, especially females, would assume the compulsory power to be taken care of in the first place, and to be excluded from the difficult tasks of fixing machines or engines. On the guy’s side, almost all get a higher position or pay in their jobs than females. It’s a sad thing to see we humans are not being treated fairly, by those who claimed to respect equality.

Who do you wish you could get back in contact with?

People who misunderstood me until they treat me differently from the past. My cousins, my ex-best friends. Though they said, those who failed to understand you are not true friends, I just wish to solve the past conflicts, have a talk to explain the truth and to listen to them, even if we could never go back to the ones we used to be again.

Do you think age matters in a relationship?

If it’s just about chronological age, I think nothing matters. Yet, when chronological age binds with mental age, age gaps happen, causing a difference in values, beliefs, opinions, and sometimes, interests. I don’t think there’s an absolute right or wrong in anyone, it’s just the fact that we couldn’t agree on everything with anyone. When the age gap is large, we tend to disagree more on things, and that hurt our relationship. As a matter of fact, it greatly depends a lot on the level of attractiveness, mutual communication, tolerance and how we solve problems together.

What do you do during awkward silence?

Tabbing away with my phones, walking around or feigned sleepiness.

Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?

Due to the phobia for the sea, I’d rather go to outer space.

What makes you feel appreciated?

When people told me how lucky they are to have me:-) It fades away all my worries about them and my tiredness for going high and low to make sure they’re alright.


Pallavi Gupta

Jason A. Muckley



Melody Chen



An Alien At Sea

Lonely Blue Boy

Betul Erbasi

litter fears

My questions:

1. What is the thing(s) you want to achieve/give up on for this upcoming year?

2. What is your soft spot?

3. Besides writing, what other hobbies do you have?

4. To love those who don’t love you, or to be loved by those you don’t love?

5. Wise but ugly, or pretty but stupid?

6. Current favourite music/book/movie?

7. Who/what inspires you to write?

8. What is your life motto?

9. Tell me about your family/country.

10. Is there something/someone you couldn’t live without?

11. Are there any weird little things you like and couldn’t give up on?

Even choices

“I couldn’t seem to make the right decision. You see, it is hard, to choose between contrasts, warm jacket and cool breeze, a handsome feast and a life-sustaining munch, a suffering life and a peaceful death. Nor would I know to put things into level. How cold is cold, how pain is painful, how much is enough,”

“But this,” she said, putting her palms against his chest, “is the best I know I’d done, because loving you a little more doesn’t make me love myself a little less.

A reason to meet

Forgive me if I don’t say hi,

I’ve learnt to say far too many goodbyes,

To those I’d like to keep,

And have no choice but leave.

While they all said it’s just a lesson you learn with time.




How could I learn it well,

If you’re the one I wanted to say hi and stay high with forever,

But the only word we left was a goodbye?

“Why do we have to meet?”

“So that we could bet our goodbyes.”